The stars, the light, the moon, the night
The heart, the eyes, the fiery bright

Oh why oh why do we refer

to our ways through what’s a haze?

Of sky of nigh interstellar

as far from ken’s end

A desire to seem inexplicable
or an inability to explain
with what is told and taught
to be truths by which we’re caged

To stick to the familiar
or understand why it so is
At least thence will we refer
back to the heavenly bliss

When did you last gaze at the sky,
the clouds, the stars, and all such tripe
to which you moor such deep effects?
Seldom as you tried?

Oh then oh then would that explain
regrets, remorse, nostalgic gales?
If ever you truly wished to see
A poet not but an astronomer you’d be.

(2021)

Look, you might as well really LOOK! I’m going to be blunt here; all these other philosophies seem to have failed to teach anyone anything because everyone reading those convoluted jargon start feeling like they’ve grown wiser just by having put themselves through all that bull****.
What’s normal isn’t necessarily moral, what’s legal isn’t necessarily right, and you don’t have to surrender to the way things are; progress comes from rethinking, reexamining, & realizing that we have the power to make lov-sorry, to make

change.

and love I guess.
Screw everything everyone has ever told you, including me/my spiel here.

Think for yourself.

Base your reasoning on moral fundamentals & first principles, not on assumptions & consensuses, and see if it makes sense. “It” being any specific thing you’re thinking about, not excluding Stephen King’s abomination. Awe-kay

I’m in costume and make-up, yet I feel naked. With every breath in, I absorb the new character; with every breath out, I cast out past roles: my usual routine. I lean into the mirror, fists pounding the wall either side of it.

Growing up in Sri Lanka with a Catholic mother and a Buddhist father, I became accustomed to accommodating divergent, sometimes contradicting views. One sought faith as the key to happiness, while the other entirely dismissed happiness as even an objective; this taught me, early on, that things are not always black and white. Putting myself in the shoes of multiple characters, as an actor, gave me the ability to see beyond my own eyes. It helped me think through different perspectives without surrendering to the biases and stigmas embedded deep in the ethos of my parents’ generation and mine.

When the curtains open, will the audience jive, cheer, or jeer? Will they judge my character’s truth?

From age 13, I was involved in professional theatre productions. I interacted with adults of different backgrounds and listened to discussions on society and politics outside the ambit of my peers. At 15, starring in ‘Picket Republic’, a satire skewering our politicians’ use of bread and circuses to distract the masses, awakened my political consciousness. At 17, I played the role of a marginalized kid who dies at the hands of a mob in a national award-winning play which illuminated, within me, society’s propensity for division and dysfunction. Touring India with this play for Asia’s largest international theater festival, I met thespians, from around the world, driven to combine art with cause. I was intrigued by diverse theatre styles employed to creatively bring awareness of contemporary issues to wider audiences.

I close my eyes, as the lights dim. I hear the audience’s hushed murmurs. My toughest role thus far as there is only one performance.

With frequent singing gigs and various characters to portray on stage almost every month of every year, I prized building connections with my audiences. They molded me. This led me to become an amalgam of all the individuals I portrayed, observed, and admired over time. As I drove out one character, I nurtured my next. The pandemic forced a hiatus from this cycle. Away from the stage, there were no more characters to portray. I was left alone for the first time.

The curtains open; the spotlight on me, and me alone. My audience lies in anticipation, to condemn and critique; little difference it makes for them, though it means the world to me. 
I turn inward, seeking inspirations from deep within myself. I turn outward, seeking revelations from this ever-changing world.

I am pensive yet an ineffable excitement washes over me to find what defines this character.

The one character I have neglected to truly understand amidst all the roles I’ve played.

Having worked hard to embody each consecutive role I portrayed from a young age, any characteristics of my authentic self lay too far in the past for me to relate to. I emerged from this short-term chrysalis of an identity crisis detached from my sense of self. This helped me see the wisdom in the Buddha’s fundamental philosophy of the absence of self; I embraced the fluid nature of my being, to ‘be water’ as Bruce Lee advocated. This made things clearer; ‘what defines me’ is neither my circumstances nor my eclectic traits. What defines me are the choices I make within the constraints of my fate; the jars I choose to fill with my water.

I bow towards the whispers. The auditorium a sea of faceless heads, until the spotlight on me is switched off.

Now, in the audience, I see peers, family, mentors… and you.

Here to see my defining, most vulnerable role.

Me, laid bare, the curtains forever open.

(December, 2021)

The wicked, the pious, the neut have found her
Workers, loafers, share the bench.
Gripping blank checks do we still flounder,
A wheel of prejudice as she spins

Changing pace, changing face,
In search of her elusive grace.

Over and over we suitors ask her,
Yet and yet we swains hear not:
“Rival or non-rival is your favor?
Either works, but neither does not”

We’ll beat, we’ll cheat, we’ll turn the other cheek
We’ll swallow the gallows, to her we’ll pay no heed,

For if we do, we will not have reined
Chaos’ fortune.

(July, 2024)